I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
