I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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