I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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