tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
