I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college