So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
