That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
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My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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