I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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