I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize