I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
