Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
