well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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