omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
