Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize