I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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