There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
