she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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