I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.