you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
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zippers are such a cool invention
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
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So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.