just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?