More tranny stories later!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
