I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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