Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
