So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
