There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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