It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
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That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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