Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
And then he peed in my hair
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
