She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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