Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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