Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
