The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
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He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
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This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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