Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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