NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
