Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize