I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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