Taylor Swift is so right about you.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
