Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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