clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize