i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
