her vagine was all disorganized.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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