i would punch a child for taco bell
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
