i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
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I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
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I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus