At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
