I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
