Dual....:-)
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
