So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she looked like the before picture.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
