Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
