The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize