I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
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He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
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The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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