Already got asked if we're dating
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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