Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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