i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
