It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
