now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse