oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
