My Higher Power is John Stamos
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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