she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
