5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
