I'd wear matching sweaters with you
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
And then he peed in my hair
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