I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
