I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
